I’ve watched my wonderful wife go through pregnancy, post-partum, nursing, perimenopause, and menopause. I’ve watched her lose scary amounts of blood and sweat without a coat on during a snow storm on the beach. I’ve watched her normally kind and even temper personality slammed against the wall by PMS and held her as she cried for no known reason.
From all this I have determined two things:
- Women’s hormones do things to them men will never understand.
- Loving a woman means loving her hormones and learning how to help her cope with what her hormones do to her.
I’d like to tell you I have some magic words you can use to get your husband to buy into those two points, but I do not. My best suggestion is talking about the way your hormones twist you when you are not in their grip. When you are feeling rational, tell him you know you were feeling irrational when you said _____ or did ____. Explain to him that it felt real when you were in it. Then tell him how he can help. Also explain there are times when he can’t help, and tell him it’s not his fault and it’s okay… or will be.
If you’re currently cycling and have any emotional or physical issue which occurs at certain points in your cycle, try to educate him. You might try colour coding a calendar for him. Make a small coloured mark in the lower right corner of the calendar a couple of weeks out based on what you predict. Then colour in any day you are feeling something.
In addition to helping him know what’s going on with you, this should help him make plans. If you bleed so much you can’t get more than a 100 feet from a restroom a couple of days a month, he should not plan a hike on those days. If you desire sex with him like crazy at one point each month, his knowing that would be good for both of you. You get the idea.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m sure I got the good end of the hormonal stick!
Two days left!: We end our Send Us Out With a Cup of Coffee fundraiser on Friday. We are currently at 93% of our goal – a huge thanks to all of you who have helped us get so close. If you want to throw in with us send a few dollars to the address below, or click here to give on-line.
Paul & Lori Byerly
PO Box 2166
Deer Park, WA, 99006-2166