Sex Life of a Teenage Boy

I realise his teenage years are in his past, but understanding how puberty was for him will give you some insight into how he thinks and feels about sex. (And if you have a son it may terrify you, sorry about that.)

Embarrassed teenage boy  © Klaus Eppele | dollarphotoclub.com

When you approached puberty, you had a host of hormones doing a monthly dance through your life, twisting you in a great many directions. Your husband had only one hormone to deal with but it surged relentlessly. The level of testosterone in his body went up tenfold in very short time, and the effects were radical and confusing.

  • Girls suddenly change, becoming fascinating and a bit scary. Girls are no longer to be avoided. Impressing them becomes important, which is a problem since we have no idea how to impress them. If we like a girl, just being near her results in breaking out in a sweat and becoming unable to speak. 
  • His penis developed a mind of its own. I know some adult men blame their actions on their penis, but this is not what I mean. During the early years of puberty, the penis has an annoying way of getting erect when we don’t want it to. Any random sexual thought or hint of a girl’s sexual parts is enough to get it going. Sometimes it erects for no discernible reason, like the bell ringing to go to our next class. Thinking about it makes it worse, and not thinking about it is almost impossible. Every pubescent boy would give anything to have an off switch for his penis!
  • He was horny 24/7. When I say horny, I mean something you have never felt. Having an orgasm only blunts, not ends it. Most 15-year-old boys could masturbate half a dozen times a day, and plenty tried at least a few times.
  • He felt aggressive all the time. Testosterone fuels sex drive and aggression. (Really God, why is that a good idea?) Fights, rebellion, and obstinacy become knee jerk reactions. Some boys control it better than others do, but we all feel it.
  • Doing stupid, destructive things suddenly seemed like a really good idea. Frankly it’s amazing most of us made it to adulthood. I think we lose a sane fear of death. Jumping off tall things seems like a wise plan, and poking a snake with a stick seems perfectly safe. Some of this crazy behaviour is fuelled by the desire to impress girls, but we do stupid things when there are no girls to be seen.

As he reaches his late teens some of this starts to fall off, but most of us struggle with these things in one way or another through our 20’s and beyond. As the urges lessen our self-control increases, and on balance, we become outwardly sane.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I wouldn’t do puberty again for millions of dollars!

LAST DAY: We end our Send Us Out With a Cup of Coffee RV fundraiser today. We are at 95% right now – thanks so much! I’ll give you a final report next week after we collect the last few mailed donations. You can give online, or send a few dollars to:

Paul & Lori Byerly
PO Box 2166
Deer Park, WA, 99006-2166

 

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4 Comments on “Sex Life of a Teenage Boy

  1. All this is so very true, but add to that the fact we live in a hyper-sexual society where nearly every magazine, billboard, TV Show, is filled with provocative imagery and life can become unbelievably crazy for the teenage boy.

    Although much rarer now I think most men still get that little testosterone monster rearing up every now and then when just the slightest hint of anything sexual will wind them up. We’ve learned to control it, even hide it but it’s still a part of him floating around in there.

  2. Ugh. I think I realized the most tragi-comical thing in the world is s 12-15 year old boy. They have this particular combination of bravado, clumsiness and idiocy that’s just do funny and cringy to behold. Why?! Then they get kind of stupid and moody. Everyone knows men aren’t sensible before 25 at least.

    The real question is, why do girls concentrate to date these creatures? I guess our own hormone fueled stupid mess. My youngest sister had the right idea. Refuse to date before grad school.

    Also, of i should have the misfortune of having sons, how can a mom deal with this? Is there anything mom can do to help them be less comically tragic and use their brains more?Channels for the stupid? Tips for how to actually impress girls, instead of thinking you’re impressing them and looking like a baffoon instead? Ways to make them understand that porn and adolescent sex is a Very Bad Idea?

    My husband has told me that he tried half a dozen times once. Apparently there is such a thing as a masturbate on induced injury. Which I find kind of hilarious. Poor thing. He said he’s glad his adolescent sufferings provides me with entertainment.

    • @alchemist – Trying to teach a teenage boy anything is iffy. But if you do it often enough some of it will get through to them.
      The secrets?
      1) Letting them do plenty of stupid things that have a low probability of ending in death or being maimed. A
      2) Try to act impressed when they do something that is physically challenging.
      3) Pick your battles on what you teach them. You can have a voice on a few things, or be a nag on many.
      4) Pretend you are not aware of masturbation.
      Paul Byerly recently posted…Be The Change: Letting GoMy Profile

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