Men and Doctors
My fantastic wife recently posted Check Up, in which she suggested you urge your husband to get necessary check-ups. As I read her words, I could hear women all over saying, “He refuses to go to a doctor!”
Why are men so resistant to getting medical help?
- It’s unmanly: We’re supposed to man up and keep going. Duct-tape body parts in place and get on with life.
- It’s admitting we are mortal: We want to pretend we’re going to live forever, or at least for a very long time. Going to a doctor is admitting we know we’ll die someday.
- We never developed the habit: Most of us manage to go from high school to middle age without seeing a doctor unless we have a major problem. We don’t have a habit of getting preventative medicine.
- It’s personal: Being naked around others is one thing; being naked and touched is another. Having another man touch our genitals is weird, and a woman doing it feels wrong. When we’re under forty they want to check our testicles (for cancer) and after forty they want to stick their finger up our butts (also for cancer). I know all this is nothing compared to what women put up with, but if he’s never done it…
- What if I get turned on?: Another concern is getting an erection. It’s not likely to happen, and any doctor will ignore it, but it scares us silly.
- What if the room is cold? : Shrinkage is a real thing, and appearing smaller than usual in front of someone who has seen many men naked is troubling.
- We don’t talk: Men don’t talk as much about themselves as women, and sharing medial issues with a stranger is beyond uncomfortable.
- It means you win: If you push hard, he will push back. Soon not going is proving you don’t control him.
I admit much of the above is irrational. This is about feelings, not facts.
How do you get him to go? Loving concern is far more effective than nagging. Tell him you want him around for a long time. You can also tell him you want him to get help with anything that might hurt his sexual function if left untreated. Most of the major killers hurt a man sexually, often long before there are any other signs. I’ve seen a number of doctors say the penis is a good barometer of a man’s health. If he has trouble getting or staying erect, he needs to see a doctor ASAP.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I take care of my health for my wonderful wife!
Worth Reading: Over on Intimacy in Marriage, Julie has been doing a Guest Series entitled What is Destroying Sex in Your Marriage. Aside from many great articles, it’s a good way to get to know a number of bloggers.