Messy Hurts You More
In 2012 UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives of Families published a book called Life at Home in the Twenty-First Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors.
I see a number of warnings in the book, including how having too much stuff is bad for us. What I found particularly fascinating was their science-based conclusion that managing the families possessions (aka clutter) caused many women elevated levels of stress hormones, but the same was not true for men!
So there you have it, the clutter bothers you more than it bothers him. I’m sure there are exceptions, but on the whole having too much stuff is much harder on women than on men. Maybe this is why you can’t get any traction with your husband on this issue; he literally doesn’t see the problem you see, or sees it as a much smaller problem. It causes you more stress than it causes him, and he can’t figure out why you’re so uptight about it.
If too much stuff is a problem for you, as it is for the majority of families in the USofA, don’t let it slide. Show you husband one of the stories linked below and start a dialogue. Tell him the clutter is hurting you, and also hurts your family and your marriage. If it will help, tell him it’s hurting your sex life – which is perfectly valid since increased levels of stress hormones inhibit both desire and pleasure.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I tortured my long suffering wife with junk for years.
Trouble in paradise: UCLA book enumerates challenges faced by middle-class L.A. families | UCLA
Clutter in typical middle-class home at epic–if not epidemic– proportions | SFGATE On The Block