Not Your Same Old Date Night

I think date nights are important for a couple. However there can be challenges, be it child care, conflicting schedules, or life in general. So try something a bit different.

Couple under a bridge © oneinchpunch |

  • Set a weekly breakfast date
  • Get a sitter to take the kids to a movie while you and hubby stay home.
  • Meet for lunch half-way between where he is and where you are.
  • Swap child care with another couple who have kids. If it works, have the kids stay overnight.
  • When you get a sitter, skip dinner and spend the evening at a hotel
  • Take a half day off work and spend it together.

Your ideas?

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’ve got a date with my wife today!

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14 Comments on “Not Your Same Old Date Night

  1. We didn’t date when we dated! LOL! He’s not much for dates out and we’re too darned broke anyway. But, he has 3 day weekends, so we sleep in, have marriage fun, chit chat, shower together, and drink coffee in bed.

  2. Breakfast dates are great. We used to get up at 6 am and take a 2-mile walk. Then, while he was showering and dressing for work, I made breakfast, and then we sat down and ate together. This was a great way to spend some time together and connect. It was also a great way to get more physically fit. Unfortunately, changes in our work schedules led to our dropping that habit. We still have occasional breakfast dates, and we are looking at ways to adjust our schedules so we can walk together again. Starting the day with a shared activity has a very positive effect on the relationship.
    Rosemary recently posted…I Coulda Been a Doll DoctorMy Profile

  3. Dates? What are those? Breakfast dates are out because he is at work by 5 am. Dinner dates are out because he’s too tired. Oh, wait, we did go out to dinner once, my mistake. Lunch dates? Ha ha ha! Too busy, too much work to do, he eats in the truck or while driving from one job to another. Or maybe he goes out to lunch with one of the material suppliers. There’s time for that cause it’s work. My husband is all talk. He even told me when they got a big job close to home, “oh now we could meet for lunch!” Guess what. Too busy. The day went awry. No time today. Never enough time because I AM NOT IMPORTANT. And if I tell him how I feel, I get the standard, “Oh here we go again. Tell me what else I do wrong….” Line of crap that means YOUR FEELINGS Do NOT MATTER. Take a half day off work and spend it together? Are you insane? How could he miss work? He already takes half a day off Sunday to go to church, and you think he should take off more? That’s ludicrous! Work is life! Work is more important than anything on earth. At least that’s how my husband feels. And he wonders why I don’t believe him when he tells me he loves me so much. Sure he loves that I do everything around here, make his lunch and dinner and keep his clothes clean. That’s about all I’m good for in his eyes. Take a half day off work. Ha ha! He would never do that. He left work early one Saturday to catch half of our son’s baseball game. That was a big deal for him.
    I am genuinely happy for (and at the same time envious of) all the wives who have husbands who can step away from work, even for 24 hours once a week. A girl can dream.

      • That would be nice. But who? We don’t have friends. How could we? They’d interfere with work. In his defense, he was raised this way. But oh how I wish he’d break the cycle. But I’ve given up. I’m 40 now, and that’s much too late. So I just exist. At least he’s a good provider.

        • Try going to church. Pray for him. Keep finding ways to build him up. Don’t attack him and don’t continuously find fault.

            • Thank you, Paul. Yes Kevin, we do go to church. Every Sunday. And the boys and I go Wednesday nights as well. My husband did try to go on Wednesdays, but he falls asleep before the service is over, due to the fact that is is up and gone so early in the morning. I’m not sure I even understand how you think going to church is the answer to our problem. We are both saved believers, but he’s still a workaholic and I’m still insecure. We still have a lot of growing to do. I’m happy for you if going to church has made you perfect, but I’m just a sinner saved by grace.

        • Forty is not too late. I have seen people and relationships change at all ages. You say that you have given up, and if that’s the case, it may actually be the first step. If you truly stop hoping for him to change, you can focus on changing yourself. Not with the idea that it will change him (although sometimes that happens), but with the hope that you will find a new way of living in this context, one that will bring you some satisfaction and peace.
          Rosemary recently posted…The Science of Happy RelationshipsMy Profile

  4. Last weekend my wife “took” me to wallmart and we bought discount halloween candy. Ate it in the car parked next to the creek.

    This saturday our date is the big gun show 40 minutes south! :)

  5. For “ME” – Just an out of the box thought – make a list of the people who mean the most to your husband – his customers, suppliers, his workers, a relative or friend. Then perhaps ask for some help from one of those guys who your husband respects, to speak with him about you and the family.

    You are in a tough spot, but as Paul mentioned, it is not too late. Your mariage is not easy, but it is worth it.

    BTW, I’ll bet he believes he is demonstrating “love” to you and the family through his work.

    Thanks Paul for your creative dates!
    Jerry Stumpf recently posted…Husbands – a little help please & receive a FREE gift!My Profile

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