Sometimes in the comments on posts here a woman shares something her husband has said to her, then dismisses it as false. In other words, she accuses him of lying. And yes, I get men doing the same thing over on The Generous Husband, so this is not “a woman thing”.

Sometimes we do this because their words don’t match their actions. But other times it’s more a matter of their words not matching how we feel about ourselves – which goes back to last weeks Rejecting What We “Don’t Deserve” post.

Regardless of why, accusing our spouse of lying, even if only in our own mind, is kind of serious. Has our spouse given us good reason to think they would lie to us, or is it just our way of not dealing with something that doesn’t fit into how we see ourselves?

Unless your husband lies regularly I think it’s wrong to assume he is lying about a few things, especially if it’s just things about you or your marriage. Next time you doubt him, why not lovingly challenge him? Try something like “I wish there were true, but I don’t feel it is. Are you trying not to hurt my feelings, or am I seeing things wrong?”

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the proper answer to “Do these pants make me look fat” is “Take them off so I can compare”!

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