The other day I was in a HobbyLobby with my wife (see, I’m a good husband). Other than the Elvis Gnome (we were in Nashville) I wasn’t interested in the stock, so I was people watching. Loretta and Merle* were having a “discussion.”

Merle: “That’s where Dolly bought her bowls.”

Loretta: “Where?”

Merle: “Michael’s”

Loretta: “No she didn’t.”

I don’t know where Dolly actually bought her bowls, because Merle and Loretta proceeded to argue about it like a couple of kids.

If I had to guess, I’d say Loretta was right. Studies find women are far better at recalling things like this. It seems estrogen-induced brain differences are at play here. (Can we get another cheer for ovaries?)

Please don’t use this bit of information to tell your husband you’re right and he’s wrong the next time you recall things differently. While the odds are in your favour, there will be times you’re wrong and he’s right. The bigger issue here is to not let silly differences in memory ruin your afternoon. Or week. Or your entire marriage.

Learn to dismiss things like this without needing to be right. I’m not suggesting you give in and say he’s right. Just drop it with “You might be right” or “I might be mistaken.” 

Part of what turns these things into fights is what your hubby has in place of ovaries. Testosterone pushes him to argue. It also makes him care, perhaps too much, about your opinion of him. He doesn’t want you to think he’s stupid, and that’s what these kinds of things can communicate to him even if it’s the furthest thing from your mind.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my hormones impair my memory. 

* No actual country stars were sighted.

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