Assumptions & Confirmation Bias
Confirmation Bias: The tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities. ~ Wikipedia
We make assumptions, often based on little or no real information. Then we look for things to support our assumptions while ignoring the things that contradict our assumptions. I could give all kinds of examples we see being argued by various groups today, but that would cause us to descend into political debate. My concern here is assumptions we make about our spouse and our marriage.
We all enter marriage with assumptions, and we make more assumptions as we go along. Finding a friend, a book, or a blog that supports our assumptions is pretty easy. Easy, but lazy. Easy, but bad for our marriages.
Think about wrong assumptions others have made about you. How did it make you feel? How did you feel when you tried to challenge the assumption and get shot down? How did you feel when you did something contrary to the assumption and it was ignored or dismissed as a rare exception? Assumptions hurt, and confirmation bias makes people victims of assumptions that are no longer true or were never true.
Where are you making assumptions about your husband? How about your marriage? Where are you allowing confirmation bias to say those assumptions are true when they may not be? Regularly challenging your assumptions about your marriage and husband is a deeply loving choice.
Challenging your assumptions about yourself is also a very good plan.
~ Paul – I’m XY and I assume my wife will continue to bless me!