The “I Don’t Feel Safe Card”
In Monday’s Fight Divorce post, I talked about doing all you can to help your friends avoid divorce when things get rough. Sometimes doing this requires knowing what to do when someone plays the I-don’t-feel-safe card.
I’m all about women and children being safe, and if there’s a real danger a woman needs to take action. However, it seems saying, “I don’t feel safe” gets a woman a free pass. No one questions the reality of her statement. Is she in danger? Does she feel she’s in danger when she’s not? Is she playing the safety card so she can end her marriage without anyone opposing her?
I realise questioning “I don’t feel safe” feels abusive. It’s a good way to get attacked by anyone who hears of it. However, the reality is some women say this when it’s not true, resulting in a divorce that could have been avoided. Avoiding the divorce means avoiding all the pain and suffering divorce brings.
If you hear “not safe” from someone you don’t know well, you don’t have the relationship to question it. However, if it comes from someone you know well, please pray about digging into the issue. Especially if it’s a sudden, new claim and you’ve never seen anything to suggest danger.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I bet I’m going to take flack for this one!