I get the feeling some folks ask themselves how they can make anything bad their spouse’s fault.  It’s as if wanting a scapegoat was a primary reason they got married!

I see this from both husbands and wives, and I’ll be addressing it with the guys on The Generous Husband soon, but here it’s all about you ladies.

Blame is a powerful thing. Even if we don’t speak it out, making something someone else’s fault makes us feel better about ourselves. Even putting part of the blame on another brings internal relief. Unfortunately, blame does nothing to fix or change things. In fact, blame tends to lessen our willingness to do what we can do about an issue.

I’m not suggesting you ignore or excuse your husband’s part in any problem. Instead, I’m asking you to fully own your own responsibility and do everything you can to fix or change the situation.

Another version of this is using our spouse with others as an excuse for something that’s really us.

• Saying “I wanted to come, but my husband didn’t want to” when you had no interest in attending.
• Blaming being late on your spouse when you were both running slow.
• Claiming his schedule won’t allow doing something when you don’t want to do it but don’t want to say no.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I confess I’ve used my wife to excuse myself with others. Bad Paul!

Related Post: Why You Must Learn to Disappoint People | by Shauna Niequist on Storyline

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