On Monday, in What if He’s More Emotional Than You Are, I said men are better at suppressing their emotions than women are. Beyond that, we’re expected to control our emotions. Given these things, it’s safe to assume he’s often (usually, always) feeling more emotion than he’s showing. (Unless he’s watching sports!)

Given how we all assume others are like we are, this difference causes problems. Women wonder why men are so cold and distant because they judge his emotions on what he shows, which is far less than what he feels. Then there’s the opposite thought process for men. If he assumes everyone is feeling more emotion than they show but you show most or all the emotion you feel, he will judge you to be feeling far more emotion than you actually feel.

Think about it. He sees how much emotion you’re showing, then calculates how strongly he’d have to feel to show that much emotion. If he were dealing with another man his math might work, but for a woman the calculations are probably way off.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I still have no idea what’s going on in a woman’s mind most of the time.

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