Why Endless or Trivial Arguments Are Trouble

It seems some couples are forever arguing about things that just don’t matter.

Why Endless or Trivial Arguments Are Trouble

Usually, these folks aren’t actually arguing about what it seems they’re arguing about. Endless trivial arguments are usually a proxy for something else. It might be something they’re afraid of discussing, or it could be something that has supposedly been settled. It can be a way of complaining about not being happy, or not feeling heard, or just a general sense of the marriage not being right. Sometimes it’s really just a cry for attention.

Minor arguments are like a fever – if they come and go it’s nothing to worry about. If it’s an ongoing issue it’s a symptom of a bigger problem. If you and your hubby seem to spend far too much time arguing about stuff that doesn’t matter, ask yourself why and dig for the truth. 

~ Paul – I’m XY and I’ve gotten over arguing for the “fun” of it.

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6 Comments on “Why Endless or Trivial Arguments Are Trouble

  1. One thing that I have learned about women is that arguing about what seems trivial IS important, and as long as it’s going on it’s both a red flag and a sign of hope.

    When a lady gives up and gives in, she’s also disconnected, and it’s hard or impossible for her to care about that aspect of the marriage any more.

    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 209 – FlickeringMy Profile

      • That’s true. My husband complains about my silence but is angry and defensive when I speak. It is a lose-lose situation.

        HOWEVER, I have been meditating on this for quite some time. It would be nice if he would hear me in my emotional woman-speak, but he does not. He hears his mother, he hears manipulation, he hears through affected ears. So, how can I speak?

        Like a man.

        “Dude, that sarcasm was uncalled for. Knock it off.”

        “You are crossing a line there. You gotta stop.”

        “Kiddo mouthed off bad to me today.”

        “Just call or text me so I know you’re not dead in a ditch or in jail.”

        He is a man’s man and most of his life was spent with good ol’ boys and their hurting wives. Healthy women-speak he knows not. It all sounds like, “put up your walls and guns.”

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