Does Our Culture Think Only Husbands Need to Apologise?
Searching for images for our blog posts can be interesting, instructive, and sometimes discouraging. Certain ideas just don’t get covered while there are thousands of images for other ideas. We also see places where there are gender-based double standards.
I had this happen when I was looking for an image for Monday’s 3 Ways an Apology Can Go Wrong. I wanted a picture of a woman making an apology to a man. After several search terms and dozens of pages, I gave up. Had I wanted the reverse, a man apologising to a woman, I would have had a great many images from which to choose.
Most of the images of men apologising were like the one above – the man begging and the women acting as if it’s not enough or what he did was so bad he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. The message I got was men are horrible scum and women do them an unmerited favour by just being around them.
Is this what our culture teaches us? Do we see men as relationally inept and hopeless? Are women so much better at relationships they’re doomed to be forever disappointed and endlessly offended?
Lest you think this is just me, or just a male thing, after scheduling this post but before I wrote it, I came across The two most dangerous assumptions women make about relationships by Shaunti Feldhahn. I don’t think all women are guilty of what she talks about, but I’ve certainly seen it and I could point to marriages hurt or destroyed by the wrong assumptions Shaunti warns about.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and sometimes men get the short end of double standards.
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