I’m becoming more and more aware that marriages are being crippled and killed because one or both spouses believes things that aren’t true. When we accept a lie as true it becomes our reality, and that means it shapes what we think, believe, and feel. When we rely on lie based beliefs, thoughts, and feelings to make decisions we have no chance of getting it right. Dealing with the decisions or the thinking behind the decisions isn’t the solution. The only solution is to find and get rid of the lies.

Lies come from various places. Some can be tracked back to what we were taught as children. Even worse are the lies we learned based on what we observed as children. These give us wrong ideas about how men are, how women are, and how marriage is. Another source of lies are the stories we tell among our same sex friends. Women telling women what men think or how they feel is like a group of guys telling each other what childbirth feels like. Then there are the half lies that come from thinking all men are alike. Even if most men are a certain way, your husband may be an outlier. (I’ll be saying more about this one soon.)

A couple of lies we really need to stop believing are that a majority of marriages end in divorce (not even close to true) and that divorce is an easy out of pain (it’s not).

Lies colour our view of things and encourage us to do things that harm us, our marriages, and those we love most. Becoming a good lie detector will make your life, and your marriage, much better.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’ve found so many lies deeply rooted in my thinking.

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