If He Loved Me, He Would…
Finish this sentence: “If my husband loved me, he would _________.”
Okay, that was sort of a trick question because many of the common answers don’t make valid statements. For example “If my husband loved me, he would never pass gas again” is a false statement because passing gas is a biologic necessity. A similar statement would be “If my husband loved, he wouldn’t be aware of other women.”
But where I really want to go with this is about those things we want to be true. “If he loved me, he’d pick up his socks” would be a good example. I agree his love for you should motivate him to do the things that matter to you, but how well he does at picking up his socks really isn’t a good gauge of his love for you. Then there are the things he does because he loves you, like working long hours. If you said “If he loved me more, he wouldn’t work so much” you could be totally missing the truth of why he does it. (And yes, there are other reasons men work too many hours, but taking care of his family is high on the list.)
Then there are things that come down to putting your preferences on him. One woman might say, “If he loved me he wouldn’t ask for sex all the time” while another says “If he loved me he would want me all the time.” A great many things about both of you play into your individual sex drives and how you express them, and how much he loves you may not be a factor in this.
When you start telling yourself some act(s) proves his love or some other act(s) proves his lack of love, you do both of you and your marriage a disservice. Aside from being a unique person who thinks, acts, and reasons differently than anyone else, your husband is not female. What makes perfect sense to you may be a million miles from his reality.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and “If my husband loved me he would buy me chocolate” might be valid.
Links may be monetised
Image Credit: © Johannwes Heling | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
Where we’re going Contact us about speaking