I suggested on Wednesday that giving your husband what you want might fall short of giving him what he wants. This is especially true when it comes to sex.

The sexual wiring of his body and brain are significantly different from the way you’re wired. On top of this, you both have a lot of learned cultural behaviours, and many of these exaggerate already existing biological differences. This means he wants some things you will probably never think of on your own. So…

Below is a random collection of things many (most?) men would like to try with their wife. Some of these are in the privacy of your home or bedroom, others you can do in more public settings. 

If you want to make sex better for him try a few of these. Or, if you’re really feeling brave, print this out and ask him to mark each idea with a check for okay, and x for no thanks, and a star for “Yes, please, ASAP!”

• Set aside a day to see how many times the two of you can have sex.
• Send him a sexually explicit love note.
• Take sexy pictures or videos of you or the two of you. (Even if you erase them after viewing once.)
• Give him manual or oral sex that teases him to the edge without climax over and over.
• Sex in the shower. (Play it safe and use your hands or mouth on him.)
• Have him watch you masturbate. Or watch each other do it at the same time.
• Wear some really sexy, totally impractical and probably uncomfortable lingerie for him. (Red and black are good colours, lace panels and cuts out are always good.)
• In the car, lift your skirt or dress up high on your leg. When you’re stopped at a light and sure no one can see, put his hand between your legs.
• Getting a motel room at a local motel, put the do not disturb sign out, and spend the entire time naked and having fun together. (Throw on a robe and get room service, or bring snacks.)
• Try a dozen new positions in a week.
• Grab his penis without warning and don’t letting go until he climaxes. 
• Invite him for an almost fully dressed quickie as the two of you head out the door someplace.
• Swap sexual stories you write about yourselves.
• Serve him breakfast in bed wearing nothing but an apron.
• For no reason, pull up your shirt and show him your breasts. Bonus points for playing with your nipples. Then lower your shirt and go on as if nothing happened.
• Whisper to him in public that you’re not wearing panties. (Yeah, everyone says this. But if you’ve never done it, cross it off his sexual bucket list soon!)
• Pause the DVD and tell him you have to have him right now and right here!
• Have phone sex while apart overnight. 
• Buy some sexy, revealing, totally immodest clothes you would never wear in public, and wear them just for him. Second hand and thrift shops are great for this. The kind of provocative clothing worn when he was in high school is likely to be particularly effective, and dangerously high heels will get most guy’s attention.
• Feel him up through his pants.
• Talk more and in detail about your physical enjoyment of sex.
• ____________________________ 
• ____________________________
• ____________________________ (Let hubby add a few!)

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is amazing! 

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