Afternoon Delight? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That! 

A year ago December there was a flurry of articles advocating having sex at 3 pm. This was caused by comments made by Alisa Vitti, author of WomanCode: Perfect Your Cycle, Amplify Your Fertility, Supercharge Your Sex Drive, and Become a Power Source. Vitti said male and female hormonal fluctuations made 3 pm the perfect time for sex. Men would be “more emotionally present” while women would be alert and energetic. Supposedly 3 pm is also the hour of the day when a woman is most likely to have an orgasm.

Afternoon Delight? Ain't Nobody Got Time For That! 

The science on this is suggestive at best, so take it with a number of grains of salt. That said, anecdotal evidence does seem to support this idea. Lori and I have had more afternoon sex the last few years because many times our afternoons were easy to free up while our evenings were booked and could run long. We both find afternoon sex is better on average, and most of the great sex we recall was in the afternoon.

If you have a “real job”, both of you work, or you have kids at home, you may think afternoon sex is impractical to impossible. May I suggest you make it happen on occasion even if it takes a bit of work? Give it a try and see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. You might be limited to a couple of times a month, but it could well be worth it.

One good way to make this happen is to institute Sunday afternoon nap time. Yeah, your older kids will figure our you’re not napping, but it’s actually good for them to know mom and day enjoy each other sexually.

Hot Post: Frenulum Orgasm – A New Delight for Him | Awaken-Love – Ruth did a great job explaining this bit of your husband’s body and how you can use it to make him feel really good.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is a delight any time of the day!

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11 Comments on “Afternoon Delight? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That! 

  1. We are semi-retired. About a year ago we instituted what we call our “afternoon nude nap” at 3 p.m. We have “Senior Sex” almost every day, unless we are shopping. Great time together. – Thanks, Mike

  2. Well, I guess the science behind that is ‘suggestive’ – LOL! (We like our morning stealth attacks best)

  3. This sounds kind of like the modern version of what people used to do before the invention of the artificial lighting that changed our natural sleep patterns. People used to go to sleep not long after sunset, sleep for about 4 hours, wake in the middle of the night and remain awake for another few hours, before going back to sleep again about 4 more hours until sunrise. The time in between the first and second sleep was used for reading (presumably by moonlight or firelight), or prayer, or (for couples) conversation and love making. Supposedly the sex during that time was really, really good, which makes sense given that one would have been reasonably well rested and relaxed at that point. It was an intimate time with no distractions, with nothing better to do than spend time connecting physically and emotionally with one’s partner. Doing this in the afternoon sounds like a similar concept, but one that is MUCH more achievable in our modern age.

    • @Amazing Ace – I’ver read about the “restful awake” in the middle of the night – but I’ve never found anything more than hints of it. I’d love to see something more solid about it.
      Paul Byerly recently posted…Your Ministry – Yes you!My Profile

      • Hi, Paul,

        Check out Steve Johnson’s How We Got To Now. It’s a book on Amazon, and it deals with six simple innovations that changed our world, including light.

        PBS did a series from the book, and for a while it was on Netflix. I was fortunate enough to watch it before it expired, and it was fantastic. The episode/chapter on Light presents information on First and Second Sleep. If you can track down the DVD of the PBS program, you’re in for a treat. (From the Clean episode: back in the mid-1800s, Chicago decided to install the first sewer system. Only one problem: Chicago was built at water level of Lake Michigan, so they couldn’t dig under the city without hitting the water table. This was solved by lifting every building and street by five feet, leaving room to instantly sewer lines.

        Another resource on Second sleep:
        Check the links in the left sidebar.
        CSL recently posted…Bad Teaching: Women Rule, Men Drool, part 3My Profile

      • Okay, so I don’t know what you would consider a credible source, but I know there are mentions of it throughout Bible (doesn’t get much more credible than that!). Here’s a link to an article from on the subject, that provides some specific scripture verses, as well as references in other works.
        What’s interesting is the way it’s mentioned in these old writings, in such a casual, matter-of-fact way that implies that it was a common experience everyone could relate to, in much the same way we talk about the sky being blue or water being wet.

        For extra credit, here’s a link to a Washington post article about the experiment conducted by Thomas Wehr in the ’90s to see if people could still experience this particular sleep pattern. Spoiler alert: we CAN.

        • @CSL & Amazing Ace – Thanks for the links. I had not seen the fellow testing to see if it could be done today.
          I initially read about this year ago. The I saw some questioning it. Part of the problem is that if it was the norm it would have been mentioned very casually, as Amazing Ace points out.
          I find it interesting the various resources don’t agree on just how it worked. Some say the first sleep was 2 hours, others have it for 3 to 4. One source mentioned in the experiment an hour or two of lying awake before the first sleep.
          The Bible verses might be showing this, but they well might not be. Seems a stretch. That’s my problem with most of the “proof” – it’s ambiguous.
          What I’d really like to see is if this is still common for those who live without artificial lights.

          Anyway, it’s fascinating stuff to me, I’ll have to dig into it more.
          Paul Byerly recently posted…Time Be Honest About How Sexual Refusal FeelsMy Profile

          • Just ask a few menopausal women and they will be more than happy to tell you all about first and second sleep :)

  4. Nice idea for others. I get sad when I read stuff like this, because I feel like “that would be nice, if it were for me, too.” I would not suggest this to my husband. One, because I stopped initiating a few years ago when I learned by reading that usually its the man who does the initiating. I felt SO stupid.
    Then we went through a phase (years) where he had almost no sex drive and I felt like he was only being with me as a “favor”. He didn’t really love me during those years. He says he never stopped loving me, but it sure felt like he didn’t love me at all.
    So he’s one of those people where everything has to be perfect. Nights are too late, afternoons – the kids are too nearby. Mornings are once in a blue moon okay, but if he has to get to work, that’s where his focus is, so that’s usually not a good time. So to suggest this to him would make him angry and/or feel like I’m criticizing him or pushing for more sex. Which leads me to my next, unrelated question…
    Things have been getting better, slightly, between us. But I still have a lot of hurt from when he was so distant that I need to learn to let go of. I thought I was being open and honest and asking for help, and I shared with him that at times, I still feel like I’m not good enough for him. I feel like he married beneath himself. I feel like he deserves someone better than me, perhaps with a career, more confident, younger, and with a better body. I’m not terribly out of shape, but I am a mom, and I cannot come close to competing with the women that men prefer to look at, such as VS models, or SI swimsuit models, or even just the way hotter women that seem to be everywhere you look, and enjoy strutting their stuff. You would THINK that not only would he be understanding, but somewhat flattered that I feel he deserves a much better woman than the one he settled for. He was not flattered. He was not understanding. He got REALLY MAD. And I have no clue why??? Can any men explain this, because sometimes I think he is nuts.

  5. B,
    First of all, you should never feel stupid for initiating sex. Most men wish their wives would initiate more. But, you husband needs to be encouraged to step up his game and intiate with you.
    Secondly, you are wondering why your husband didn’t think it flattering that he deserves someone better. If you think about it, you basically are telling him he is stupid for settling for you, and if he were more qualified he would have found a better wife. I suggest you aplogize to him for verbalizing that to him and ask for his forgiveness. He chose you and there is no better choice for him than you!

    • @Bryan, thanks for replying. I would have NEVER looked at things that way. I’m not sure I understand how my acceptance of not being good enough for him is telling him he’s stupid. It’s admitting I know he is better than me and deserves a better wife.
      But since that obviously makes him mad, and you’re telling me it’s equivalent to telling him he’s “stupid” (which still makes no sense to me) – I will try to stop verbalizing my thoughts.
      Thanks for taking the time to reply.

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