I have a confession. I’ve become a bit cynical about women “getting it” in terms of how men think and feel. So when I saw Love Intentionally When Your Husband is Overwhelmed by Kathi Lipp, I clicked on it to prove to myself she had a long list that didn’t include anything about sex.

And I was wrong:

4. Seduce Him Again. Not trying to go caveman here, but sex is — for most men — the best tension reliever. Setting aside some time will do more for your husband than just about anything else.

So first and foremost I want to repent. There are some brilliant ladies out there who do get it – probably far more than I think.

Secondly, I want to echo Kathi’s sentiment. Sex is a powerful way to influence a man.

Thirdly, I want to dig a bit deeper into why this works. Sure sex makes a guy feel good. It relieves stress, it relaxes, it clears our minds, and it helps us sleep. But there’s something far bigger at play. When you chase your husband down for sex you’re telling him you care about him, you value him, you respect him. If he’s feeling bad about himself, you wanting sex is saying “I love you, trust you, and support you in spite of whatever is going wrong.”

For example: A guy gets fired unjustly. He goes home feeling horrible. His wife consoles him, then seduces him. Even if he turns down the sex (and if he does she should push a bit) the offer makes him feel so much better about himself. His wife still wants him, he must be okay. You could put all kind of other problems, disasters, or failures in there, the effect is the same. Wanting sex with your guy is the ultimate reassurance that you still love him and you know it’s going to be okay.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’ll try to do better! ;-)

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