Is His Sex Drive Is In Overdrive?

It’s pretty common for wive’s to think their husband wants sex too often. In fact, I’d say this is the case for pretty much every marriage other than those where the wife wants more sex.

Just how much sex does the average man “need”? I will attempt to answer that, but frankly, I find it the wrong question. I think the right question is “how much sex does the average man want?” 


Over the last few years, there have been a number of studies that show a correlation between frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer. The early studies were iffy, but several of the most recent are rock solid. It looks like a man who ejaculates about 5 times a week from age 20 to age 50 has a 25% to 35% lower chance of being diagnosed with prostate cancer by the age of 70. I think that shows a need. (For a good recent study on this,  see here.)


We just finished a survey entitled Sexual Frequency: Desired and Actual that asked men and women how often they would like to have sex. For men under the age of 55, the most common answer was “4 or 5 times a week” – which is right in line with the “need” level I suggested above. Most of the rest of the men fell either side of that, at 2-3 or 6-7 times a week. 

It probably seems like a lot to some women, but if you do something with/for him all but two days a week you should have a very happy, and healthy, husband.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m happy, ;-)


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11 Comments on “Is His Sex Drive Is In Overdrive?

  1. What I find interesting about the survey is that frequencies for both females and males were pretty similar.
    But, the majority of the comments were from partners who wanted more sex than their spouse.
    Makes you wonder if most of the respondents were higher drive spouses.

  2. Love your signature on this one. Glad you’re happy! LOL.

  3. So we should encourage our husbands to go beyond what they “want”, in the interest of health, of course! LOL

  4. “It’s pretty common for wive’s to think their husband wants sex too often. In fact, I’d say this is the case for pretty much every marriage other than those where the wife wants more sex.” And it seems that, in many of those cases, the husband accuses his wife of having a sex drive in overdrive.

    I wasn’t going to comment on this, but then I read something about a gentlemen who described the way his church taught about sex when he was young as “the church taught me that, as a man, I was a sexual monster.”

    I don’t really know how much of this post comes out of our rhetoric that demonizes and vilifies “male” sexuality (in quotes because, as I note above, women can exhibit some of the same levels of desire and libido as the stereotypical man).

    In the past, you have liked to trace this back to the Gnostics, and probably rightly so. Whoever it traces back to, it seems that, for better or worse, there has long been a thread through Christianity that demonizes sexuality and sexual desires. It seems that, if you ask point blank if Christianity really teaches this, most will say that they don’t — that they have great respect and a high opinion of sexual expression (within marriage). It just seems to me that, we give lip service to the idea, but too many of our teaching methods (purity culture) and attitudes undermine any positive messages we try to teach.

    I know that I am “preaching to the choir” here. I have long appreciated your posts that point out the errors in this thinking (there are a couple in particular over at the Generous Husband that come to mind). I just wish that there were more Christian spaces that understood and taught a more balanced, more accurate view of sexuality and sexual desires.

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