The longer I live, the surer I become that happiness is primarily a matter of choice.

Aside from seeing this in my own life, I see it in others. I see people in horrible situations who are happier than most people, and I see people who have it good who are far less happy than most. 

If I’m right, then if someone is usually unhappy it’s because they have chosen to be unhappy. Or they have not chosen to be happy, which is the same thing. Why would anyone make such a choice? Because there’s something that is more important to them than being happy.

In Be Gracious, Not Grumpy, Lori talked about a woman who was determined to be angry and critical. This woman was one of three dozen guests who had a problem because of a mix up between the port and the cruise line. Lori and I were part of this group. Most of us grumbled a bit then went on with life waiting to see if the problem would be resolved – which it was. I talked with many of those affected by this issue over the course of the cruise, and all but this one lady felt it was handled well. All the rest were happy with the way it worked out, while this one lady remained upset and dissatisfied.

The kicker is one of the couples with us ran into this woman at a meal and heard her telling a young woman the way to get what you want was to be demanding and hard to please. For this woman being unhappy was a life choice. Even if she does get what she wants more often than the rest of us, what good is it doing her? She might be getting her way more often, but she’s less happy. Apparently getting her way is more important to her than being happy.

So what, if anything, is more important to you than being happy?

~ Paul – I’m XY, and since I realised happiness is a choice I’ve been happy far more often.

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