Be The Good Kind of Tease
In days gone by a man would call a woman a tease if she led him to believe she would have sex with him but then didn’t or did something far less than she had hinted she would do. Being that kind of a tease was seen as a very bad thing.
But there’s another kind of tease that most men find to be a very good thing – the women who teases and then pleases.
A lot of women don’t like to be teased sexually. Given that sex can be difficult for a woman, I get this. If you struggle to reach orgasm, being stopped just short is NOT a good thing. But men usually have no problem reaching orgasm and being taken close and then held off is something most men enjoy and some men enjoy a great deal. Likewise for being teased with arousal that doesn’t lead to sex immediately.
Sexual teasing falls into two categories; arousal teasing and stimulation teasing. Every man has a limit for each of these. Sexually teasing a man makes sex a longer process, which means he can enjoy it more. It also builds his arousal, which makes his eventual climax better.
This is about making him crazy horny without much or any actual physical stimulation. It’s about turning him on and leaving him that way for a while.
- Arouse his with your words. Tell him, in explicit terms, what you’re going to do to him later. Then tell him you’ve changed your mind, and instead, you are going to do something else – which you also explain in detail. Alternatively, outline several possibilities and ask him which one he wants.
- Visual teasing is easy effective. You can give him an occasional quick flash, leave an extra button or two undone on your blouse, undress over an hour or more while watching TV, or spend the evening in lingerie or fully nude. You can also use mystery to tease. Wear a short skirt and sit so he can almost see if you have anything on under the skirt. Tease him repeatedly before showing him enough to confirm what he hopes without yet showing him what he most wants to see.
- Touching your sexual parts under, through or without clothes is an especially effective way to tease him. This couples well with the method above.
- Use technology. Send texts telling him what’s going to happen later, or what you are or aren’t wearing. If you want to play at “sexting” in a safe way send him a picture of your sexiest panties on the floor around your feet. Or send him a picture of your bed with one corner turned down.
- Get him to touch you in sexual ways, from kissing to foreplay. Do this while he remains fully dressed and you don’t touch him in return.
Put simply, you do things you would do as foreplay or to give him orgasm but you stop before he climaxes. You can take him to the brink of orgasm, get just close enough to make him think you might finish, or stop well short of climax. Do this as many times as he can handle, either in short succession or every five or ten minutes over an hour or more.
Most men enjoy repeatedly reaching the brink of orgasm without finishing. In addition to making their climax far better when you finally give it to him, being that close is almost as pleasurable as an orgasm. This is as near as most men will ever get to multiple orgasms. This should only be done when you plan to stay with it till he does climax. Unless he asks for it, don’t do this and leave him that way for very long.
If you want to take him very close, manual sex is your best option. You have the control, and he can’t finish himself with a quick thrust as he could during intercourse. Additionally, you can watch his body for clues as to close he is to climax. His face, his breathing, and the way he holds or moves his legs can all communicate his arousal level. His penis and testicles are especially good indicators. At high levels of arousal, his testicles pull up close to his body. When he’s very close to climax, the head of his penis will change colour and/or texture. With practice, you will know exactly where he is and how much more you can do without taking him over the top.
One thing you may have to learn is when “Don’t stop” means don’t stop and when it means keep teasing him. He may beg you to finish him when he really wants you to keep going. Test this by stopping one more time when he asks you to finish, and then after he does climax and regains the ability to speak ask him if he’s glad you stopped or wishes you had kept going.
A Few Things to Know:
- If you keep him on the edge a long time before he climaxes, he may lose his erection far more slowly than usual after orgasm. If you want to use that for your pleasure give him half a minute so he doesn’t get over stimulated.
- Men, especially older men, can lose their erection even when they are highly aroused. If you stop stimulation and he wilts it doesn’t mean he has lost interest!
- Prolonged arousal and/or handling his penis more than usual may cause him to be sore the next day. Odds are he will think it was more than worth it. Keeping him lubricated will reduce the problem. Prolonged arousal can also result in some puffy swelling that may remain for a time after he climaxes. This is harmless and will go away on its own.
- Long periods of high arousal without release can cause problems and in some men and can even lead to significant pain. Ejaculating will take care of this, leaving nothing but a dull ache which goes away with time. If you’ve never teased him before, start easy and build up. Find his comfort levels both mentally and physically.
- Long term teasing can result in a lot of pre-ejaculatory fluid even in men who don’t normally get much or any. This fluid is clear, thin, and slippery. Unless he has climaxed recently, it doesn’t contain sperm.
- Done well, teasing followed by pleasing will leave a man in no condition to do much of anything. Don’t expect intelligent conversation, and don’t count on him being able to do a good job of providing you with an orgasm. Either tease and please when you don’t intend to climax or make your orgasm part of the teasing. Get him close, then tell him it’s women first night and ask him to take care of you, or do it yourself while he watches.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I suggest you try this soon!