The Failure That’s Cruel and Sinful

Failing to meet your spouse’s legitimate needs and wants is cruel and sinful.

No, this post is not about sex. Sure, sex is included in this, but there’s so much more.

Being healthy and happy requires far more than the bare minimums of life. It’s been found a lack of touch can cause babies to fail to develop, resulting in lifelong problems. Emotional connection is more difficult to quantify and study, but we can suffer mentally and even physically from a lack of emotional connection.

You and your husband both have a great many needs. Neither of you can provide everything the other needs, but you should each be a primary source of what your spouse needs. Doing this builds your marriage, making it stronger and more enjoyable. Sometimes it takes sacrifice, but that’s what we do for those we love.

Where are you failing to meet a valid need your husband has? Where are you allowing others to meet a need when you could (should?) be doing some/most/all of it? 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want to give my wife what she desires even when I don’t understand it.

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2 Comments on “The Failure That’s Cruel and Sinful

  1. I think there’s a corollary to this, that we should gracefully allow our spouses to meet the needs they THINK we have.

    In illness, I don’t need handholding…I’m pretty self-contained, and I’m at peace with the situation. It may nopt be optimal, but it’s not worth resenting.

    My wife feels that I SHOULD need emotional support, that I should be able to express my anxiety and despair…she simply doesn’t believe that I don’t have those emotions.

    So we’ve come to a kind of modus vivendi; when she notices that I’ve had to do a lot of laundry because some unmentionable symptoms got out of hand, she expresses her sympathy, and I express my gratitude for the support thus offered. Not ideal, but honour seems to be satisfied.
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 322 – And I Was Almost GladMy Profile

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