I was looking at the stats for the blog and this post is the most read by a huge margin. Clearly, it hits a nerve. And as it was first posted over three years ago, it seems ripe for a rerun.

I suppose the first question I need to answer is “how common it is for men to masturbate in the shower?”

The vast majority of guys learn to do this as teens. Proper washing of the penis feels good and can be a bit arousing, which can easily lead to masturbation for a young guy. So most men bring the habit into their marriage.

In a survey we did, of almost 700 men, 54% have done it in the last month, and 28% in the last week. So yes, it’s is a common activity for married men. However, it’s nowhere near-universal; 15% say they never do it and 40% do so no more than a few times a year.

As to why, the easy and most common answer is a lack of sex. If a man is sexually frustrated a shower may make him aware of it and doing it there is quick, easy, and mess-free. However, most men see shower masturbation as something far less than sex. When asked how they feel about doing it, 38% said it was okay but nothing special. It provides physical release, nothing more. As one man said in the comments, “Masturbation gives me some breathing room from the physical effects of the drive, dulls the hunger. It does nothing for the emotional needs of my heart; it does not make me more intimate with my wife or less lonely. It is highly depressing; I masturbate to get relief, yet it is a bitter testimonial to the profound loneliness I have found in marriage. “

Sadly some men think they’re doing their wife a favour: 17% said, “I’m glad I can do it rather than bothering my wife all the time.” Other men find it easier than risking rejection, especially when they feel they really need it on a physical level.

A dozen men said they masturbate in the shower to help avoid porn. As one said, “Can’t do that in the shower.“

Several men said they masturbate before sex so they can last longer with their wife in bed. A few men said they masturbate but don’t climax so they are aroused for sex with their wife or so they are highly aroused as that makes sex better for them. Finally, 10% of men said they engage in shower masturbation when they are separated from their wife. Doing it in the shower prevents the temptation to flip on the TV and look for porn.

There were a few men who said they really enjoy flying solo in the shower and 5% said more sex with their wife wouldn’t change their shower masturbation frequency at all. But 59% of men said more sex with their wife would put an end to doing anything in the shower and most of the rest said it would reduce it.

The bottom line is shower masturbation by married men is common, with about a third of men doing it at least once a week. However, the vast majority of these men see it as a physical necessity and they would much, much rather have sex with their wife.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is so much more enjoyable than any shower!

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