He Doesn’t Care How You Look Down There
I use various feed aggregators to help me keep current on all things marriage and sexuality. Recently I saw two interestingly juxtapositioned things a couple of days apart.
The first was a report from the UK which said in 2015-2016 more than 150 girls age 9 to 15 sought labiaplasty (cosmetic surgery on the vulva, usually to shorten the inner lips). The doctors who saw these young ladies said they were all normal looking and none of them had any medical reason to undergo surgery. The girls said things like “I don’t look like the women in porn” and “I don’t want to be abnormal, I don’t want to look different.”
The second article was on a reddit thread in which a middle-aged guy said he keeps seeing posts from women who are self-conscious about how their vagina [vulva] looks. He asked if not caring what a woman’s vulva looked like put him in the minority. I skimmed the responses (many of which are what you would expect from a secular web site) and was hard pressed to find any men who cared at all. But many guys took the opportunity to complain that their lady hides her vulva or only lets them see quick peeks.
In 20 years of talking to men about sex, I’ve never had a single one mention, much less complain, about how his wife’s vulva looks. I’ve heard about preferences for boobs and butts, but never ever for vulvas.
If you have any fear about this, please stop. It’s not a thing in the minds of men. Beyond that, if you have a daughter be aware she will at some point have this concern, and might already have it. Please educate your daughter(s) on this. Let them know the majority of women’s inner labia stick out beyond the outer ones, and it’s normal for one to be noticeably larger or longer.
If you would like a visual aid, Google “The Great Wall of Vagina”. This is an art exhibit with plaster casts made from the vulvas of many women. It shows the wide range of normal in the least graphic way I know.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I got nothing to add.