Don’t Expect Him to Fix/Fill Past Emptiness
We all come into marriage with empty places in our hearts. These empty places express themselves as loneliness, longing, disappointment, and regret.
Society tells us marriage will fill these empty places. Our “soul mate” is supposed to be our answer, our salvation, the end of being empty. Unfortuanlty this fairy tale is a lie.
God said it was not good for us to be alone. So yes, our spouse is intended to meet certain needs and fill some of our empty places. The problem comes when we expect our spouse to fill places God never intended them to fill. It might be places God is supposed to fill or places that are empty because of the sins others have committed against us, or places that are empty because of our own choices. Our spouse is neither responsible for nor able to fill such places. If we expect them to they will either not try or try and fail. This leaves us feeling disappointed, denied, or wronged.
What lies did culture tell you about marriage? What things were supposed to magically become wonderful when you said, “I do”?
~ Paul – I’m XY, and my life has become better as I’ve stopped expecting Lori to fill all my empty places.