When Caring Looks Like Controlling
If a fellow has an app on his phone that tells him where his wife’s phone is at all times, is he controlling? Might he be abusive?
If a husband expects to know where his wife is and who she is with 24/7, is he a danger to her?
Those things alone don’t make a man controlling, abusive, or manipulative. Many men do these things because they care about their wives and about her safety. If a man can track his wife’s phone and she fails to come home in a bad snow storm, he can tell where she is – or where she was when her phone stopped working. Where I live that bit of information could literally save the woman’s life.
I think men have a built in need to protect their wife and children. It’s very much like the need mothers have to protect their children. In our modern world, that instinct may exceed the real threats, but that doesn’t make it abusive or wrong. What you may see as controlling could be him showing his concern.
By the way, most husbands worry about their wives far more than women realise. We feel we should be protecting her, and we can’t do that when we’re not with her. A reasonable man learns to let his wife be apart from him, but he may still worry until she’s back at his side.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and yeah, I worry about Lori more than I “should”.