There you are, snuggled up enjoying after glow, and hubby starts peppering you with questions. “Did you climax? How many times? How good was it? Did you like it when I ______?”

The sex was great; the interrogation not so much. 

He asks because he’s unsure – or maybe has no clue at all. Female sexuality is more complex and less obvious than male sexuality and we struggle to know what’s going on. He asks because he cares about it being good for you, and he wants to learn how to make it even better.

The other side of this for some couples is the woman has been taught nice women don’t talk about such things. Hint a bit maybe, but never a full on discussion.

The obvious solution to this is to beat him to the punch; tell him HONESTLY how it was when sex is over. If something was especially good mention it. If something was meh, tell him that too. If you have any thoughts on how he could make it better, be sure to share them. If you would rather relax after sex, then make a point of talking about it at another time. Most men would love to wake up to “Last night was great, especially when you _____!”

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I like to de-brief before sex!

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