Years ago I wrote Clitoris & Orgasm – Happy Accident or Intended for Pleasure? for the men over on The Generous Husband. After commenting on the ongoing debate about why women orgasm, I said “As I already said, I see abundant evidence there is an intelligent and purposeful creator behind our bodies. Based on that, our body parts, and what they do, are never an accident; rather they are an indication of what God intended. So, what do the clitoris and female orgasm suggest God intended?“
I then made some observations about female anatomy and function and followed that with some thoughts about what those things say about God’s intention for female sexuality. Below I’m going to do the same thing with male sexual anatomy and function.
First a few facts/observations about male sexual ability:
The penis gets erect regularly starting before birth, and touching or holding it when it’s erect feels good regardless of how old a boy/man is.
It’s common for men to wake with an erection, and the pressure of the bed or the sheets against it feels good. Morning erections are the result of waking from a dream. During REM sleep the penis becomes erect, regardless of what they dream is about. Dream erections are very full, and can be slow to subside – which is a real bummer if a man wakes with a full bladder!
The vast majority of boys self-discover masturbation to orgasm around puberty. This may be less true today as most boys hear about masturbation before puberty. But for all of history pubescent boys have figured out on their own how to make themselves climax.
During puberty, the penis responds to even minor sexual sights or thoughts by getting erect. This can be anything from a slight bulge he feels but no one sees to a full erection. As we grow into our new sexual urges we gain some control over this, making unwanted erections less common and less full when they happen.
Men’s sex drives are very high when they’re young. Given the chance, most teenage boys could have sex at least half a dozen times in a few hours. This insane level of desire starts to drop in a man’s 20’s, and continues a slow slide for the rest of his life. However, most men remain able to have sex daily well into retirement.
Men’s minds are easily turned to sex by any little sight, word, or thought. This is especially true when the stimulus comes from the woman we love!
For men, foreplay is enjoyable (surveys find most men would like more of it) but not necessary.
Most men can reach orgasm in thirty seconds or less, if they want. This is true for masturbation or intercourse.
When a man climaxes, his body releases chemicals that make him relaxed and sleepy.
From this, I conclude God intended:
God wants men to be very sexual. Even in a culture with far less blatant sexual imagery, men would be sexually aware and interested pretty much all the time.
God designed men to become sexual early in life. We are wired to be fully aware of our emerging sexuality and wired to figure out how to make our bodies feel good. And as good as doing it to ourself is, we want to do it with a woman. I think this is to draw men towards marriage at a time when we might otherwise be too busy with crazy adventures to bother. Sex is what God uses to make us look at women long enough to see all the other wonderful reasons we should find the right one and get married.
God intended newlywed men to turn up the sexual fires. Sex does a lot to bond a couple, and his strong sex drive is a blessing in many ways if neither of them has significant sexual baggage.
God wanted men to desire sex even when life is difficult. The sight of his wife half naked causes him to want sex even if he’s exhausted or feeling bad about something. This keeps the beneficial effects of sex going for a couple through good and bad.
The fact that men want foreplay they don’t need and try to make sex last far longer than they need for their pleasure tells me God gave us a deep desire to make sex good for our wives. If a man was working on nothing but his physical urges, sex would last less than five minutes from removing clothing to snoring.
God didn’t want men to have sex and jump up and move on with life. He wanted us to stay with our partner so we could enjoy after glow.
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