It’s human nature to focus on problems and give little attention to the things that are going well. But this can lead to relationship issues in marriage.

I’ve talked to men who say their wife ignores the things they do well or right, while harping on the things they fail to do or do poorly. She’s all about his failures, and not at all about his successes. This doesn’t motivate him to do better, it motivates him to stop trying. It also tends to cause him to stop caring about her opinion, or what she wants, or much of anything else about her. 

I’m not suggesting you ignore problems. But make a real effort to give him credit and thanks for what he does well. When you need to deal with something that’s he’s not doing well, try to be loving and understanding rather than coming off as hurt, scared, or disappointed. Convince him you’re on his side and he will be much more willing to work at it.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I love it when my wife celebrates my successes.

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