When I spent a lot of time on The Marriage Bed forums, I saw many discussion (arguments, fights?) about whether quantity or quality is more important for a good sex life. For the most part, this fell along gender lines, with women saying quality and men saying quantity.

Personally, I don’t think you can have a great sex life without both, but from a practical standpoint, I understand why men say how much is more important than how good it is. A car engine filled with low-quality oil will last longer than one that is half full of the best oil made. Likewise, you can survive longer on plenty of low-quality food than on a very limited amount of top-quality food. I’d also argue that quality can’t happen without quantity because getting good requires practice. 

But there’s a more basic biologic reason why quality requires quantity for men. The less often a man has sex the more aroused he is when he does it. That causes him to want to hurry or skip foreplay and get right to what brings him orgasm. It also causes him to climax a lot faster. No matter how good a man’s control is, less frequent sex means he will climax sooner and with less stimulation. Unless you’re looking for it to be over as fast as possible, quantity should be important for you

By the way: Most women say they get aroused more easily and climax faster when they have sex more often. This plus his working the opposite way means there should be a frequency at which it becomes pretty easy for sex to be great for both of you.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want both!

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