The Other Hangry
Horny + ANGRY = HANGRY
On some level, I think this reaction is similar to getting nasty when we’re hungry. When we are hungry for something and not getting it, we feel “off” and that makes it easier to be rude. I’m not excusing horny anger any more than I would excuse anger due to not eating, but both are an understandable result of going without something we’re biologically driven to have. And just as with anger arising from not eating, it seems wise to know about it and do what you can to deal with it. Just as it’s good to avoid a difficult discussion when it’s been a while since he ate, so too when it’s been a while since he had sex.
There is another more complex issue along these lines. When a man feels his wife is “holding out on him” he gets mad. It would be like him locking up all the food saying no when you got hungry. Not eating would be one thing; not eating because your husband was preventing you from eating would a whole different thing. While this is also a natural reaction, in my mind it’s less acceptable.
BTW: In the other hangry post’s comments a couple of men asked about this issue, and I let them know I was doing it today. Then it was suggested I not forget women get sexually hangry too. I have no doubt going without sex causes all kinds of bad feelings in women, and I can understand being refused sex causing anger. But I’ve never seen women react the way men do when the of lack is sex is due to circumstances (rather than a withholding spouse). And, when women talk about such a lack it sounds different than what men say. I could be wrong, but I suspect biology makes this one worse for men, just as hunger anger is more difficult for women.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I don’t like the things I’ve said when I was hangry.
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