Every January I hear from a man, or more than one, who is shell-shocked because his wife has “suddenly” left him “for no reason” and “with no warning.”

Of course, the real situation is usually far different than the man’s honest perception of reality. Most of the time the truth is his wife has been unhappy for years. She clearly expressed this to her husband, at least in her mind, many times. She feels there is no way he could not know how she feels. However, nothing changed, and eventually, she stopped complaining. Bitterness set in, and resentment built. Gradually divorce became the only option she could see. She planned, and she waited for her time. Doing it over the holidays seems wrong, especially if they have kids, so she hung on. Then when the holidays were done, so was she.
If you’ve reached this point, I know nothing I or anyone else says will make a difference. This post is for women who have not gone that far. Maybe you’re still complaining, maybe you have stopped, but you haven’t decided you must leave him. If that’s you, I am begging you to make a really big deal about this with your husband. I don’t care how sure you are he knows, please get in his face and tell him in no uncertain terms that the current situation is unacceptable and that it will end in divorce.
You owe it to him, to yourself, and to your kids to slap him in the face if there any chance you will leave him over your ongoing marriage problems. Yes, I’m telling you to give him an ultimatum; it’s the right thing to do.
Along these lines, we have a new survey out. Will you be divorced in a year?
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I hate divorce!
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