Seeing Through Different Eyes

Seeing Through Different Eyes

This is the image I used for Monday’s But You Could Die! post. What do you see in that picture? In particular, what do you see in relation to the opening lines of the post which talked about a father with small children going off hiking and getting injured and stuck in the middle of nowhere?

I often ask Lori for input on the images I use for this blog because as a woman she sees pictures differently than I see them. This image was one of three I asked her about for the post. We both felt this image was a good fit, but as we discussed it I found we felt it fit for very different reasons.

Lori saw the picture as a little boy wondering why his father has not come home. I saw it as little boy longing to be out there exploring the world. Same picture, two very different interpretations, with two different sets of emotions. Both views are valid, and we could easily see how the other saw what they saw. It’s also easy to see how our view was a natural result of our being male or female. 

I bring this up because this kind of thing happens all the time in marriage, and often we totally miss it. Had I not told Lori why I felt this image as so good for the post, she wouldn’t have countered with her different idea of why it was so good. I was seeing a man’s longing to go conquer the world while she was seeing how that longing can hurt his wife and kids. Both of those are true and valid, and for a marriage to be healthy both husband and wife need to acknowledge that both those things are valid. Then they must wrestle within themselves and together to find a balance that works for both of them.

Men and women aren’t the same, we’re fundamentally different. Beyond that, you and your husband have many differences that are not tied to your gender. The more aware you are of those differences, the better.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the 1,000 words I find in a picture often differ from what my wife finds.

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11 Comments on “Seeing Through Different Eyes

  1. New banner – those lines above the man’s head, isn’t that the play that won the Eagles the Superbowl? :-)

  2. Wow, your wife’s perspective would never remotely occur to me, from my perspective that little boy is looking into the great unknown wondering what adventures are out there. That’s what I remember doing as a little boy.

  3. I see a boy either eagerly waiting for daddy to come back up the path, or he’s moments from deciding to take off running. I see it from mom’s view, looking at the little boy.

  4. Actually, both interpretations are wrong. Kid’s trying to remember where he parked his bike.

    Park your bike outside the church when you get married, and you’ve left the world of ‘to thine own self be true’ and entered one of honouring both vows and Scriptural dicta.

    Amongst which is, ‘your body isn’t your own’; it doesn’t just apply to sex. Risk your own body without good cause, and you’re risking your spouse as well.

    This doesn’t mean, get married, get Netflix, eat Cheetos’. It does mean that your spouse needs to know early on that free-climbing El Cap is that which cleanses your soul, and that the very real possibility of a minor slip turning you into a squeegee-and-bucket job is part of the package.

    But by the same token, you have to expect that she’ll put up a little distance between you ere the possible messy validation of gravity, and that she’s entitled to think of you as a selfish idiot whom she still unaccountably loves.

    And if you numb her synapses to danger often enough, she can become numb to you, too.

    That’s also part of the package.
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser recently posted…Your Dying Spouse 442 – From Barbara {FMF}My Profile

    • and if you were free climbing El Cap before her……it’s reasonable that she walked into the marriage knowing this is what you did, and it would likely continue after nuptuals.

  5. Paul, did Lori already know what post the photo would go with when she first saw it? I wonder if her thoughts would have been the same if she had anticipated that the photo would go with a post about awe of God’s creation, or one about seeing the world through a child’s eyes. I think it’s possible that her reaction to the photo might have been different in a different context.

    Having said that, I agree that men and women tend to see things differently. When our boys were little, we took them to a nearby park with a really tall rocket thing to climb up and slide down. Mom saw it as a threat to her boys. I saw it as really cool and wished I could fit so I could do it with them.

    Sex differences have been well documented in so many areas, but I need to remind myself that my wife sees things not only as a woman, but as a particular woman, with her own perspectives. And I’ve learned over time to respect her insights, whether I agree or not.

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