This is the image I used for Monday’s But You Could Die! post. What do you see in that picture? In particular, what do you see in relation to the opening lines of the post which talked about a father with small children going off hiking and getting injured and stuck in the middle of nowhere?

I often ask Lori for input on the images I use for this blog because as a woman she sees pictures differently than I see them. This image was one of three I asked her about for the post. We both felt this image was a good fit, but as we discussed it I found we felt it fit for very different reasons.

Lori saw the picture as a little boy wondering why his father has not come home. I saw it as little boy longing to be out there exploring the world. Same picture, two very different interpretations, with two different sets of emotions. Both views are valid, and we could easily see how the other saw what they saw. It’s also easy to see how our view was a natural result of our being male or female. 

I bring this up because this kind of thing happens all the time in marriage, and often we totally miss it. Had I not told Lori why I felt this image as so good for the post, she wouldn’t have countered with her different idea of why it was so good. I was seeing a man’s longing to go conquer the world while she was seeing how that longing can hurt his wife and kids. Both of those are true and valid, and for a marriage to be healthy both husband and wife need to acknowledge that both those things are valid. Then they must wrestle within themselves and together to find a balance that works for both of them.

Men and women aren’t the same, we’re fundamentally different. Beyond that, you and your husband have many differences that are not tied to your gender. The more aware you are of those differences, the better.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the 1,000 words I find in a picture often differ from what my wife finds.

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