It’s All About the Coffee
Note: Due to a date error this post went out on Thursday with a different title and no content. Sorry about that!
This is (yet another) attempt to convince women most men are not nearly as hung up on how a woman looks as most women seem to be. Maybe I should see this as a lost cause, but I’m stubborn. Besides, I convinced my own wife, so I do know it’s possible.
Did you catch the accusation above? I’m suggesting women, not men, are the ones who are all about looks. If you consider how much time and money women put into how they look, this charge seems valid. Take a look at magazines and advertising aimed at women, it’s full of ways to look better. I suppose the argument is women have to do this because it’s what men expect, but I think women have repeated that so often they believe it without any collaborating evidence from actual men.
I’m not telling you men are blind, nor am I suggesting how a woman looks never crosses a guy’s mind. What I’m trying to tell you is how a woman looks is actually a rather minor part of the whole for most men. Even in high school most of my friends had some understanding of the fact that female beauty usually comes with a cost. The “ultimate beauty” looks good on your arm, but she doesn’t want to do most of what you want to do because it will mess up her hair, or rumple her clothes, or God forbid result in her sweating! She’s not a woman, she’s a well-manicured plastic shell.
My wife’s body is a container in which she exists. What the container looks like is far, far, far less important to me than what is inside. I mean yeah, I have a favourite coffee mug, but what matters is the quality of the coffee, not what’s on the mug. The best mug in the world won’t help bad coffee, and great coffee is still great coffee in any mug.
How does this apply to sex? Lori is the woman I love. She is the mother of my children. She is the woman who worked to make my dream of running around the country in an RV become a reality. She’s the woman who cares for me when I’m sick and helps me when I’m falling behind. She rejoices with me, and she mournes with me. She prays with and for me, and she joins me in all manner of adventures. I don’t want to have sex with her because of how she looks, I want to have sex with her because of who she is to me. My wife is great coffee, and the sight of her naked little mug gets me going because it’s the mug that holds the best coffee in the world. If the image on the mug is faded, who cares? If there’s a little chip on one side, so what? I’m not aroused by her because of how her mug looks, I’m aroused by her because of what I know is in her mug. Her body turns me on because it’s her body. No other body can arouse me that way because no other body is her body!
Am I odd man out on this? Not based on what I’ve seen in the comments from last Friday’s post. The vast majority of men are far more concerned with who a woman is than how she looks. The exceptions are just that, exceptions. Please don’t judge your husband, who is probably a decent guy, by a few exceptions.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is great coffee!