Was He Always That Way?
When Jack was single, he always threw his sock at the laundry basket. Jack is a horrible shot, and most the socks landed on the floor where they stayed until laundry day. (The day after he had nothing clean and rewore the least dirty thing he could find.)
Then Jack married Jill (who he met on a hill while getting some water) and he kept throwing his socks at the basket, and usually missing. Jill stewed about this for a while, then had a blowout, telling Jack how rude he was, that he didn’t love her, and how she feels like his servant.
Now I’m not suggesting the situation is acceptable, and I do think Jack should get remedial sock throwing training. However, Jill is taking it personally and it’s not personal. He’s doing what he did before they were married. He is treating her the way he treated himself.
By making it personal Jill makes it a much bigger deal than it needs to be. She may also kick Jack in his pride, and that won’t get her what she wants. It would have been much better for Jill to ask Jack if he would do her a favour and make sure all of his clothes make it into the basket. If she really wanted to drive the point home should could then demonstrate by removing each piece of her clothing and dropping it in the basket.
All silliness aside, if your guy has always done something a certain way, it can’t be about you. He’s not doing it to hurt you, he’s following a long-standing habit. It’s fine to ask him to change, but making a big deal about it is counterproductive.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and sometimes a bucket of water is just a bucket of water!