Sexual Sharing

Do you and your girlfriends talk about sex? Do you talk about your sex lives?

Sexual Sharing

I have exceptional hearing and I overhear a lot of things no one would think I could hear. I’ve overheard women sharing details about their sex lives that made men’s “locker room talk” seem mild! It’s bad enough when two women are doing it; it’s even worse when it’s a group. 

I realise “Sex in the City” made it seem cool to share the intimate details of your sex life with your female friends, but I don’t think God is down with that. At best it’s exposing something that should be private. When it becomes laughing about men’s sexual performance that’s far worse.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the things I hear!

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16 Comments on “Sexual Sharing

  1. No, I don’t talk about my sex life. At least not in great detail. However, I am not entirely opposed to it. After all, the Shulamite talked about it with her maidens. I wouldn’t talk casually or in great detail, though.

  2. If done in a disparaging way it can only lead to one’s discontent, which I think id where Paul is going with this.

  3. Guys generally only talk about hookups, not women they are in relationships with…..high school not withstanding

  4. My long-time best friend and I have encouraged each other in our sex lives with our husbands. I’m sure we’ve shared too much a few times but, for the most part, we do not go into specifics. It was her encouragement many years ago that helped me overcome the erroneous teaching from our church that oral sex was a sin—thank you friend!! I have helped her in overcoming a few inhibitions as well. Our husbands know the benefits of our discussions 😊. The only “discussion” I’ve had with other Christian wives is to simply say that I “like my husband” with an attitude that I hope makes my meaning clear!

  5. Could this be a generational thing?
    I’m older and don’t remember (but 2 extenuating circumstances) discussing sex with girlfriends ever. It was considered a private matter.

  6. Guilty as charged! I don’t share anything unless it is positive. And I guess I like to talk about it with other women to see what their experience are because I’ve only been with my husband and I’m curious.

  7. Simple answer: no, but I do let them know how much we enjoy our marriage.

  8. This is probably generational (I’m in my late 20s). But I know I’ve benefited TREMENDOUSLY from fellow Christian married women being quite explicit in talking about sex and I don’t see it as dishonoring. It’s never boasting about achievements or getting specific about things that might cause someone to think lustfully about someone else’s husband. But I make it quite clear even among women I don’t know well that i prioritize and enjoy sex, and I also check in with recently married friends to make sure they know im available to talk if they have questions. I do this because early in my marriage I had friends who were open with me about struggling with drive, performance issues, and overcoming all kinds of lies or abuse that hampered their sex lives, and these things hugely prepared me to face our own struggles without feeling isolated or afraid. All of us are on the same page about the purpose of sex and marriage so no one is coming to complain unless they expect to be confronted.

    My husband knows about what I share and what topics come up with my friends. I frequently check with him what’s ok and he trusts me – and I think he’s a little bit proud that his wife wants to encourage his friends’ wives to be more engaged in their marriage beds.

    Just a different perspective.

  9. @Lizzy – I’m all for explicit. It’s giving a blow by blow that has people seeing what a couple does in bed that concerns me.

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