Dad Is On My Side, Mom Isn’t
When I was 17 a friend and I decided it would be fun to spend part of our summer biking to the Texas coast – a ride of about 200 miles. We looked into which roads would be legal, and how we could camp along the way. We also started taking long rides whenever we could, together or separately, to build up our endurance. My mother was very much opposed to the trip, while my father was for it.
In the end, we didn’t make the trip because my friend went and got a summer job!
As an adult, I understand all the concerns my mother had. It was not a 100% safe idea, but we were doing a good job of making it safe enough that my father thought we would be okay.
The difference between what my mother and father felt was an acceptable level of risk is something most young men hit up against if they grow up with both parents. I think the balance is a good thing for boys. A mother alone would restrain her sons too much, while a father alone might let them go too far.
While this makes me see the wisdom of God’s plan, I didn’t see it that way back then. To me, it looked like dad trusted me and was on my side while mom didn’t and wasn’t.
If you have sons, this bit of information may be of some help to you. However, sons or not, please understand your husband may have grown up seeing mom as holding him back or doubting his abilities. If he transferred that to women in general, he may feel you doubt him or try to hold him back. He could feel this even if you have never done it, and if you have played into it at all it could be a major issue for him.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and not making that trip is one of the biggest regrets of my adolescence.