Sex Should Not Hurt!
Sex should not hurt, and if it does something needs to change.
That may sound obvious, but apparently, it’s not. A study done a couple of years ago found 30% of women experience pain during intercourse, and the majority don’t tell their partner about the pain.
A bit of discomfort here and there is normal, but pain is not. Putting up with pain makes sex less enjoyable, and it makes you less willing to have sex in the future. It’s bad for you, and it’s bad for your sex life, and both of those make it bad for him.
The most common causes of pain are lack of lubrication and the man being too eager. Yes, your vagina is designed to accommodate him, but it can take a few seconds, especially if he is well endowed. Teach him to enter slowly and wait for a few seconds before he starts to move. His penis is far tougher than any of your bits, so you need to educate him about how delicate you are.
As for lube, most couples would do well to use it every time. No thinking or checking, just do it. Unless you never have a lack of lubrication a “just lube it” rule can eliminate problems. One good way to encourage the use of lube it for you to apply it to his penis, with far more stroking then necessary. Make this the last thing before penetration a few times and I bet he will be looking forward to it in no time! (Check out the wide range of lubricants over on Covenant Spice.)
One other thing, because I know it’s a common issue these days. Seventy-two percent of women say they experience pain during anal sex. As compared to pain from vagina intercourse it is more common, more likely to be moderate or severe, and the pain lasts for a longer period of time. There are a lot of folks out there who say “Done right it doesn’t hurt.” Be that as it may, the reality is most women find it painful. If it hurts you, tell him no.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and if she’s in pain I’m not enjoying it!