My wife has always been good about housecleaning (which was primarily her job in the past.) But before we moved into an RV the top of the fridge was always dusty and sometimes cluttered.

Then a couple of decades into our marriage I realised that being nine inches shorter than me, she could not see the top of the fridge!

A minor difference in perspective meant she didn’t ever see something I saw daily.

There are plenty of other point-of-view differences between us and our spouse. Some are gender-related, some are not. Consider a difference in sense of smell, being colour blind, nearsighted vs farsighted, or a difference in how well you both hear. Fairly minor differences can result in a significantly different perception of the world around us. Beyond the physical things, our past colours how we see things a great deal.

Next time you don’t see eye to eye, consider the practical reasons that might be the case.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and these days I do some of the cleaning.

Great Post: Check out Gary Thomas’ excellent post Sympathy or Empathy? A Key to Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage

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3 Comments on “Point-of-View

  1. Excellent post, Paul, I love it.

    Me: “No hubby, I don’t see that thing at the Joneses. I can’t see over the wall into the neighbor’s backyard. And it had never occurred to me before that you can.” DH, crouching down so his eyes are level with mine, “Oh, wow.” Me on a stepstool: feeling far less privacy.

    Acknowledgment and ACCEPTANCE of different perspectives is essential for empathy.

  2. I laughed because this was a scene with my 17 year old son. He felt he’d become a big man and so informed me the top of the fridge had about an inch of dust on it (ya, right! Maybe a quarter inch). Then he wants to know why I haven’t cleaned it (!) We’ll that’s the day he got another lesson in “you see a need, you meet the need”. My son is taller than me by half a foot and complains the doorways are too short at our house. Haha, he’s only one inch taller than his dad. But perspective is a big deal.

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