Did the title of this post raise your blood pressure? Sorry about that, but it was sort of the point.

Nagging is one of those fighting words that men should remove from our vocabularies (along with games!).

Some men use the word without really thinking about what it says about the person accused of nagging. Other men use it intentionally as a way to get their wife to shut up about something they don’t want to hear or don’t want to deal with. What’s more, I suspect much of what men call nagging is not really nagging. 

A reminder when he has apparently forgotten something is not nagging – unless it’s the third reminder in a short period of time. Asking for something you need him to do when his failure to do it is causing you problems is also not nagging, it’s letting him know his procrastination is hurting you.

As for real nagging, it often goes hand-in-hand with him being passive-aggressive. It’s a game for him. If that’s the case, don’t play. Tell him, remind him once, then let it go.

I know a guy who learned his lesson when his wife started hiring people to do jobs he kept putting off. That’s a pretty hard slap in the face, so “Shall I hire someone?” or “Next week I’m going to hire someone” would be a better way to go.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and yes I just accused men of playing games!

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