The other day at the coffee shop I witnessed something that reminded me that women find men’s concept of modesty totally whacked!

A married couple in their mid-twenties were sitting on the same side of a table where I could see them. At one point the woman pulled the collar of her t-shirt way out. Not down, out. I only caught it in my peripheral vision, so I don’t know if she was just flashing her guy or there was some other reason for her actions. 

I did hear the discussion that followed. He was upset at her lack of modesty. She was confused because he was the only one who could possibly have seen anything. He kept telling her it was wrong, and she kept telling him no one saw anything. As they were in a corner with their backs to the wall, she was correct that no one saw anything. What she didn’t understand was he was thinking about more than someone seeing down her shirt. He knew any guy who saw what she did would become sexually aware of her, and he didn’t want any other guy thinking about his wife in a sexual way.

While what we see is a big factor in modesty, it’s not the primary thing. It’s really about what a woman’s attire does to our minds. Imagine a woman wearing a shirt with bull’s eyes over the breasts and pants with arrows that point to her crotch. The woman who pulled out her T-shirt did very much the same thing. This is why a short skirt is less modest than a pair of pants the same length, and why a long dress with a high slit grabs the attention of every man who sees it. It’s also why a woman show cleavage like the image accompanying this post is considered immodest by many men.

I don’t mean any of this as judgement, nor do I want to tell you how to dress. I resigned from the modesty police years ago and I have no desire to go back. However, this post might help you understand why certain outfits bother your husband when you think they’re fine.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and no one likes the modesty police!

Image Credit: © ajr_images | stock.adobe.com
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