You have probably figured out that men don’t generally like to ask for help. For most of us, there’s some degree of pride and/or fear in that. But that’s not all there is to it.

Men are driven to figure things out and make them work. Part of the pleasure we get from doing things comes from the sense of accomplishment, and that’s richer when we do it without any help. This is why he sometimes seems annoyed when you try to help him, offer help, or offer “helpful advice”.

If this has been an issue in your marriage, I suggest offering help by saying “I’m available if you want my help.” (Note the word “want”, as opposed to saying “need”.) This makes you available and makes it easier for him to ask for help should he want it. It doesn’t poke his pride, if that’s an issue, and it doesn’t leave him wondering if you’ll be upset if he doesn’t take your help.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and sometimes an offer of help is just annoying.

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