Studies find that men are very good at estimating how aroused they are. This is not surprising really. Since puberty, our penis has been enlarging to let us know what arouses us and how much. (Erections are not all or nothing, there can be a slight stiffening that won’t show through clothing but is very much felt.)

Studies of women’s ability to determine how aroused they are have shown most women don’t know when or how aroused they are (researchers call this low correlation between subjective and genital sexual arousal). Other studies have found that men are only aroused by porn that fits their sexual orientation, while women of all orientations are aroused by any kind of porn.

And now, just to make it even more confusing, a lot of what I said above is being questioned.

The typical way to measure male arousal is with a device that records changes in the circumference of the penis. The typical way of determining female arousal is a device that measures blood flow in the vagina. It has been pointed out this is an apples and oranges comparison that assumed vaginal changes show arousal the same way penial changes do. 

In the last decade, a device that measures changes in clitoral blood flow (clitoral photoplethysmography) has been introduced. This is apples to apples.

Initial tests with the clitoral photoplethysmography found it is very good at measuring arousal, and gives somewhat different results than the traditional vaginal measurements. One small study found this new method resulted in much better correlation between measured arousal and women’s self-reports of arousal. One researcher suggested that the arousal indicated by vaginal measuring is “an automatic preparatory response rather than genital arousal per se“. In other words, it’s the body getting ready for sex, not the body getting turned on. The theory is that pretty much any sexual stimulus causes a woman to lubricate and otherwise prepare for intercourse. This is not the same as wanting sex, or being aroused.

Here are a few things I see in all this:

• Female sexual arousal is far less straightforward than male arousal.
• Vaginal wetness means you can have intercourse without pain. It does not necessarily mean you want to have sex, and if you do want to have sex it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re aroused to the point that you will enjoy it.
• Contrary to previous claims, women are not “turned on by men, women, heterosexual and homosexual images regardless of their claimed sexual preference.”
• Women’s lack of a biofeedback mechanism coupled with negative teaching about sex may mean some women don’t mentally register arousal when their body is in fact aroused.

And one other point. It’s possible to get aroused even if you start out feeling nothing. So is hubby asks you if you’re horny, “No, but I’d like to be, can you help me with that?” is a valid response.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’ve made some of the false statements disproven above.

A couple of links for those who want to dig into this:

• Agreement of Self-Reported and Genital Measures of Sexual Arousal in Men and Women: A Meta-Analysis | Archives of Sexual Behavior
• The Clitoral Photoplethysmograph: A New Way of Assessing Genital Arousal in Women | Journal of Sexual Medicine
• The Problem With Sexual Arousal Studies | Pacific Standard

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