“Man works from sun to sun. But woman’s work is never done.” ~ Providence (RI) Journal January 1827, with other versions going back much further in history.

For much of history, the husband cared for the structure of the house. He built it and he fixed it. He cut and hauled wood for cooking and heat, and he did it with an axe and if he was fortunate an animal drawn cart. He made farmland by removing stumps without power equipment or dynamite. He dug a well, by hand. He hunted, with a rifle that was inaccurate at any kind of distance, field dressed it, and carried it home. He did things a woman can’t do day in and day out, and when he came home at the end of the day his wife didn’t feel cheated that he rested until he went out to do it all again. 

The wife cared for the inside of the home and the children. She worked in the garden, she cooked meals, and she preserved food for winter. Her day was longer than his, and it was hardly easy, but it was not as physically demanding as what he did.

Today few men do the kind of things men once did, and when they do they have better tools. I’ve helped my son put in his 10 cords of wood for the winter, but we have two chainsaws, a tractor, and a hydraulic wood splitter. Still work, but not nearly as much as in the past. But women’s jobs have not gotten as much easier. Vacuuming a carpeted floor takes longer than sweeping the same area wood floor. Besides that, her home is significantly larger than the homes of the past. 

All of this to say the balance of work has shifted. For men, it’s way easier. For women, it may be a bit easier, but there’s more of it. And yet, many men are still acting like we live 300 years ago. He comes home from a long hard day and expects to do nothing till he goes to work again. Even if he works a physical job, he’s not working nearly as hard as his forefathers. (And I can say that, I did landscape and irrigation in Austin TX for fifteen years!)

Some men will look at the situation, see it’s unfair, and make changes. Some men need to be nudged to see reality. Some men need a lot more than a nudge. 

If you think the situation is unfair, speak up. And keep at it till he makes changes or tells you he’s not going to change. If he refuses to change, you have no good choices, but at least you know.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I do love using a chainsaw!

Image Credit: © Jo Ann Snover | dreamstime
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