I saw a fellow on Quora who said he “Divorced a different woman than I married!” It took a moment to get it, then I had a sad laugh about it.

I’ve heard many men complain their wife is not the woman they married. More than a few use the words “bait and switch” to describe the changes that occurred when their girlfriend became their wife.

The reality is we all change over time; you couldn’t be the woman you were back then even if you really wanted to be. The question is this: do the changes look like natural growth, or false advertising when you were dating? I’m not asking which they are, I’m asking what they would seem to be to an impartial viewer.

You’re not the woman your husband married. What matters is if he sees that as a good thing or a bad thing. If he’d say bad, what should you do about that?

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the woman I’m with now is way better than the one I married!

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