I think one of the reasons many women don’t understand their husband’s sexuality is they have no idea how much most single men masturbate.

While it’s common for boys today to learn about masturbation from a friend or porn, no one has to tell boys about it. In days gone by when no one talked about such things, virtually all boys figured it out. Puberty means a lot of erections. He touches the erection. It feels good, so he touches it more. That’s all it takes.

Being told it’s wrong, or even believing it’s wrong, does little to prevent it. It just means he feels guilty about it.

Most boys go a bit crazy with masturbation at some point early in puberty. Daily is common, and for every guy doing it less often there are a couple doing it more often. In our teens, and often past, getting horny results in masturbation sooner rather than later. There is no delayed gratification, and we certainly don’t teach ourselves to wait.

So when a man gets married, he assumes his wife is going to become his “whenever I want it” source of sex. When this doesn’t happen it causes problems. It may also cause him to revert to masturbation. He’s not used to waiting, and he sees no reason why he should wait. He’d much rather do it with his wife, but if she’s unwilling or unable he does it himself and hopes she’s up for sex the next time.

Please don’t take any of this as an excuse or justification for anything. I’m just explaining his premarriage reality, and how it may influence him now.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and puberty was rude!

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