Over on TGH today I talk about a couple’s counsellor who says  “…if you fix the sex, the relationship transforms.” This is a radical thought for many, but I think there’s a lot of merit to it. You can read my thoughts on this over on TGH if you like. Here I want to talk about being sure sex is good for you.

If a good sex life is important for a good marriage, then that means the sex has got to be good for both spouses. If you’re not enjoying sex, that’s bad for your marriage. It hurts both of you and it puts you at an increased chance of ending up divorced. 

I realise some women have never wanted or enjoyed sex. If that’s you, I suggest you check out my friends Bonny and Chris. Do it because your marriage needs it. And do it because once you get through it you will be really glad you did!

Others of you want sex and want to enjoy it, but your husband either limits sex or is unwilling to give it the time and effort necessary to make it good for you. So you have accepted sex-mostly-for-him as the best you will get, or what you need to do to keep the marriage going. I’m suggesting to you that accepting poor sex is actually harmful to your marriage. It might keep the peace, but it’s eroding your relationship. On the other hand, if you fix the sex, your relationship might be transformed!

I realise suggesting you buck the status quo is asking you to take a risk. It will be difficult at first and there’s no guarantee you will succeed. However, if the road you’re on leads somewhere you don’t want to go, the sooner you work to change roads the better.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I think sex is far more important them most of us realise.

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