When I wrote a post with this title for The Generous Husband, I realised I needed to address it here too.

This issue is more tied to children for women than it is for men. Even when dad is great about taking care of the kids, mothers usually put more time and energy into child raising. That means women are more limited by their kids. Because of this, women’s “I need to get a life” moments tend to be related to the kids growing up. One common “I need a life” point is when the last kid goes off to school and she is no longer a 24/7 mother. Another one is as the last child moves through high school.

I’ve seen a lot of crazy and destructive stuff happen when a woman “suddenly” realises how small and empty her life is. The best way to avoid that is to regularly look at your life and ask yourself if it’s what it should be. Are you just getting by, or are you really living? Has increased freedom from parenting been matched with adding things you enjoy in your life? Have you grown?

If your life feels confining or inadequate, you need to do something about sooner rather than later. Tell hubby your situation and ask for his help, but don’t stop there. If he seems ambivalent you will need to do some thinking and praying. You need a life, even if your husband finds that inconvenient. Yes, we’re supposed to sacrifice for our spouse, but we’re not expected to give up everything that matters to us. A healthy balance is a difficult thing, but it can be done.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m really glad my wife has a life!

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