Last week Lori and I spoke to a church youth group. This was a follow up to a discussion about sex we did a few months ago. This time we split by gender, and one thing Lori talked about with the girls was sexual abuse.

Statistically, one woman in four in the USofA has been sexually abused. But this is just those that report, and a lot of abuse is not reported. On top of that, there’s a lot of sexual harassment that is not usually called abuse.

As I see it, it’s almost impossible for a girl in this country to reach the age of 25 without having to deal with something sexual that was inappropriate and unwanted. I think some women dismiss certain things because they are “minor” compared to what others have suffered. I’m all for having a thick skin, but the fact remains that women are regularly exposed to sexual garbage God never intended them to deal with. 

Movements like #MeToo have encouraged women to speak up, and I think that’s a great thing. Very few of us have any idea how common and widespread this problem is, and I think we should all know the truth. If we saw just how bad it is, I think most of us would do more to bring about change. Beyond that it’s good for women to know what happened to them is the norm, not the exception. It wasn’t about them and it wasn’t their fault. They live in a sick world that treats women’s’ sexuality as a public commodity. 

This is a marriage issue in that everything we experience has a lasting effect on us. Sexual teasing, harassment, and abuse leave a mark that can shape or limit your sex life with your husband. If you haven’t discussed what you faced as a child, and a teen, and a young adult with your husband, please consider doing so. Help him understand your reality so he can understand you better.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this issue is a big deal to me.

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