This post is primarily for you ladies who can’t get as much sex as you want from your hubby. If your husband wants more sex than you feel you can manage, see the bottom of the post.

I am convinced one of the biggest reasons couples don’t have regular sex is lack of time. They’re too busy to connect, or too tired by the time they can connect. This doesn’t stop most young men, but as a guy gets older his raw drive decreases, and eventually busyness, stress, and tiredness may be enough to keep him from having sex with his willing wife.

Some of these men are just going without, most are taking care of it themselves now and then. I know that’s difficult for women to understand. If a guy doesn’t have time for sex but feels horny, he can take care of that need in a couple of minutes and move on with his life. It’s not nearly as good as sex with his wife, but if he feels too busy or too tired for sex with his wife, masturbation may seem the best or the only option. (I’m splainin’ here, not excusing.)

The ultimate solution to this problem is to help hubby be less busy. That’s a difficult and long-term goal at best. So what can you do that will make a change NOW? There are things you can do, but they are risky because most of them set you up for “failure”. Try to see it as multiple attempts, and if any of them succeed that’s a good thing.

• Pick your time well. Weekends and days off are going to be better. Morning may be very good if he doesn’t have to get going right away.
• Be willing to do more than your share of the “work”. If you’re on top he needs to use less energy.
• One big concern for men is the time needed to get their wife aroused. Anything you can do to help get yourself aroused is helpful.
• Be willing to help yourself finish. This is far from ideal, but it’s better than nothing. A good way to approach this when he has climaxed and you have not is to say “I need to come, do you want to do it or watch me do it?” Then if he tells you to do it, do it.
• If you’re willing to be really bold about it, climb into bed naked and tell him “I’m going to come, do you want to be involved?”
• Get a small vibe to put between your bodies during intercourse. If you are able to orgasm during intercourse this will make it fast and sure. If you don’t orgasm from intercourse this can make it happen.

I’m sure the last three are scary for many women, but they serve a bigger purpose than just having an orgasm then and there. It shows your husband sex and sexual release are really important for you. 

Women have been taught sex is for men, or primarily for men. They have been told they don’t need it, or don’t feel the need as strongly as men. They have also been told it’s not a big deal if they don’t orgasm every time. The truth is God gave you a sex drive and He intends for your husband to care for that. Please don’t be shy about helping your hubby understand and do that.

I realise a lot of this sounds unfair, and most of it is. But you either take action or live with things they way they are. Most of the above shows him sex really matters to you and he needs to know that. He’s been fed the same lies you got, so he may not know how much you need him to make love with you.

If He Wants Sex More Than You

Ask yourself if being too busy and/or too tired is part of why you don’t say yes as often as he would like. It probably isn’t the only reason, and it may not be the biggest reason, but if it’s a factor you should deal with it. Sexual frustration is not a minor thing and it’s not unreasonable for him to want sex multiple times a week. If you keep saying no it will cause him to have negative feelings about you and it will diminish his love for you. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want couples to have a lot of sex!

Image Credit: © Vasiliy Koval | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.